Be Nice to Nerds….

Looking at my kids in school now reminds me of how lucky I was to have gone to really good schools that cared so much about grades and achievements.

Bullying…. A never ending problem that can happen anywhere anytime. I was quite a nerd when I was in primary all the way up to uni. I THINK I was quite a nerd. I was fat and didn’t really have self confidence at all. But thank God I’ve never got bullied by anyone. When I was in primary school, I can say that I was actually the one who bullied my friends. Small school, strict and very scary teachers, being a quite diligent student I was always needed by my classmates to help them doing their work. When others need you, you can literally do whatever you want. Though I didn’t really torture anyone. All I did was just enjoying myself being an important person back then.

Junior high, not really bad. New school, found it hard to make friends coz I didn’t really talk to new people, not until they started first. Made a few friends, never experienced any kind of bullying or verbal insult from friends. Wasn’t really good at sports but not that bad either. Became the top student in my batch in my first semester there, gained respect from others, always stayed away from problems. So again… I was blessed. Was happily accepted by some of the popular gang just because I had quite sense of humor (i.e joking and making jokes or simply just showing my face and my weird expressions).

still thinking in her sleep

Senior high, the same thing. Was not very popular in the popular way, said to have a very low self-confidence, but still can go to school without feeling scared at all. Friends knew me as Lia the math kid, friends called me Mamon, Mami Monster, Mami Doraemon or even Queen of Math. But again it was just a nickname that everybody commonly had during my time. And I gratefully say I was not bullied by anyone.

For me, it’s a sad thing if people get bullied just because they look like nerds or really nerds. Like Bill Gates said, “Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.” I had a student once, who was and still is very smart. Despite of that natural gift from God I always adore her for having that confidence, that strength and that wisdom for which not every human has. Those are the kind of the attitudes needed for the nerds to stay as who they are, proudly, without being forced to change into someone that they are not. Sometimes you need to close your ears and stop listening to all the bad things told by other people to intimidate you. For me as long as you do no harm to others, move on! I might not have the kind of confidence a cheerleader has when she walks or talks or even stares at some new people, but when I am with my math…. No one can stop me. When I am with my pen and papers, no one can interrupt me and dare not to do so! I am not that good in math, some people know that, I know that very well since long time ago. But it’s not about being good at something or being perfect in front of others. It’s about you and your pride of everything you have. (to clarify, I’m not saying that being arrogant is good. For me, pride is not the same as arrogance).  God grants you with something special that no one else has. Why? Simply because He believes in you, He entrusts His talent, His gift to You. It was specially tailored for you in such a way that only you can make the best use of it. Be proud of it, be grateful of it. I am not as bright as some people that I know, but I have my own style in doing my math. I have courage that not every person has, I have a strong will that someday can move a mountain to wherever I want it to be.

My message to you, to all the nerdies out there or people who are being bullied currently, take pride of yourself! Start loving yourself! If God Himself loves you so dearly, who are you to hate yourself? I am a nerd and proud of it!!! At least I was…. Don’t know whether I’m still a nerd anymore. Haha…. But soon I will be as I continue reaching my dreams.


*this was written on January 21, 2011*


Just when I thought that everything is fine

This feeling strikes my mind

Am I really fine

Or have I just made up my own line


Walked into their lives 2 years ago

Never thought it’ll be hard to let go

I laughed hard

But I cry harder


Felt about giving up many times

Having failed to get into their minds

I was not good enough

I am never good enough


Who am I to cry a tear

Who am I to feel the fear

I’m losing my treasures

None left to reassure


Empty handed to face the fate

Seeing someone closing the gates

It’s time to get out

It’s time to see myself out


I have thousand thoughts untold

Leaving myself dying in cold

Let the history get itself unfold

I am here til the very last drop


If everything fades away

I promise to keep mine safe

Memories sealed and kept away

With your names written on top of the safe


Thank you for stopping by

Hoping this is not our last goodbye


As time comes to realise

It’ll hand us a chance to reunite

And until that very day

I wish nothing….

but the best for u….


June 5, 2011


It took me a year to come up with a new one…. Writing has never been this hard for me, means life has just got harder these days….

Farewell my friends… I never thought it would be this hard to let you go….