Bachelor of Science

Three and a half years…. That is exactly how long it takes for me to finish my bachelor degree. Today is the day I got my results out and celebrating it with an ease of heart and a huge relieved!!! Gosh…. I was scared sick before, thinking about the possibility that I’m going to fail one of the subjects. If I were to fail, where would I stay next semester? Since I’ve checked out from my place two weeks ago…. If I were to fail, how about my job as a teacher? Since I’ve negotiated about the salary and all, and agreed to start from this January. If I were to fail, how about all my daily stuffs needed to stay alive everyday? Since I’ve already packed everything and brought back most of them to my hometown. If I were to fail, what should I say to my parents and how are they gonna face it? Since I have been bragged by them in front of other relatives (I don’t like this one). Summing up everything, if I were to fail, I don’t know how am I gonna cope with it. But thank GOD (huge thanks to You, Lord), I pass all the subjects….

After staring at the result for a few moments, I couldn’t help but to think back about my first time entering the university life. I still remember how happy I was when I found out that I was accepted to NTU. I still can sense how relieved I was when I successfully changed my major to mathematical sciences instead of civil engineering. All the tears I’ve shed, all the stressful moments, depressions, and all…. But also, the smiles, the excitements, friendships, sense of belonging as a big family with all friends live nearby, the joy, new experiences…. NTU is not just a place for me, it is my place…. I’ve learned, seen, touched, and heard so many things from this place.

I’ve learned to be realistic, but hopeful in the same time. I have never been good in exams. I might be able to do the tutorials, the assignments, and understand things quite well, but I’ve almost always stumbled during the exams. Because of this I have to given up my hope to get first class honours. Because of this, I have always trembled before, during, and after exams. Many types of mistakes I’ve made during exams time, from misread the questions, counted wrongly (very often), forgot to plug in some details needed for calculations, to understanding the questions wrongly. The subject which cost my tears the most was calculus (all series of them). The reason is, this subject was (and maybe is) one of my most favorite subjects ever. I like this subject, I’ve always tried to understand it correctly for each and every step to get some results, and I’ve always felt that I managed to understand it all before the exams. Yet still, the results speak for themselves. I was never able to score well (not a single one). The first calculus I stumbled terribly by miscalculating almost half of all the questions. The second, even though I did very well for the midterm, again I fell hard in the final. The third (this cost my loudest cry for all series of calculus), I was angry with the midterm coz I got much lower than I expected just because I didn’t present my answers clearly step by step, and stumbled during final coz of miscalculation from the very first step of doing the questions. The forth didn’t get better…. I realized that it was my last chance to score for calculus, the only subject that I felt I understood the most but never been able to score well (that was what I thought back then, but the list got longer later). I studied hard, hoped harder, but dang!!!! AGAIN!!!! I miscalculated a simple integration needed for the very first step, no wonder I wasn’t able to get any answer that makes enough sense. So that is it…. My long story of a long series of calculus that never really fond of me….

Talking about the toughest semester, I can never forget about the 1st semester of my 3rd year. That was damn hell for me. I almost drove myself crazy (literally). I cried every now and then without any warning (see how crazy I was). I believe my friend almost slapped me back then (especially after my first exam). Real analysis was THE reason of all the craziness and insanity and depression and hopeless and sense of worthless and everything terrible back then (and it seems it still holds the title this year, given my juniors still complaining about this subject). The bad news was, this was my first exam that semester. So, everything after wasn’t getting better. I cried a lot that time. I even apologized (for the first time) to my mom, coz I felt I’d fail this subject. My mom freaked out (coz apparently I’ve never cried and apologized at the same time about my study), and obviously told my brother who then messaged me and try to pull me up (but I was still down anyway). Still feeling very terribly down, I had to face my second and third and forth and so on. So in the end, as expected, that semester became my worst semester ever. My GPA dropped drastically (from hoping to get first class to desperately seeking air to breathe the second upper). So I gave up the first class this semester, and started to worry about maintaining my second upper. I was worried sick, coz my GPA kept dropping ever since my 4th semester.

And here GOD again came and saved my life… through Vina, I believe…. A friend of mine who diligently asking me to study together with her each and everyday ever since the start of the 6th semester. And a lil secret between me and my GOD, which I believe was also one of the reasons why I got a really amazing result for this semester. Through this semester I secured my second upper, and confirming the reason of me taking major in math in the first place. Coding and Cryptography, those two subjects have been my interests since I was in high school. And I scored very well for both of them during my 6th semester. It was my greatest semester, and still is….

Yet today, I got my second greatest…. Haha…. Yes, there were mistakes during exams for my final semester (esp for my math subject, A LOT OF MISTAKES). But I got through…. Nah…. WE got through…. It wasn’t only me…. But all of us, my GOD, my friends, my family…. Those who have stayed by my side during my downs, those who have always prayed for me and given me strength, those who have lightened up my hopes and dreams, those who have held my hand and wiped my tears, those who have created jokes and silly actions, those who claimed themselves to be my friends and sisters, those who I claim as my friends and sisters, those who I believe are unforgotten forever in my life…. and one of those…. Could be you….

When I read the results today, just a few moments ago, there was a final closing sentence below my results; a sentence that I believe will always be marked in my mind from now on til days ahead:


Thank you all…. I could’ve never done it all without you…. And YOU of coz….


Name and Nicknames

I was named Lia Andriyani, and according to my mom, the name itself was given by my uncle. Once I asked her what does it mean, she told me because the day when I arrived in this world I brought so much happiness to the family. Well, I didn’t really take it seriously, because my parents didn’t really familiar with bahasa and the words in bahasa, so I thought they couldn’t really know the meaning. But well, few days ago I googled my own name and search for its meaning. Here what I got:

” The Greek name Lia means – bringer of good news ” (quoted from

So, I guess my mom was right. Haha…. This makes me thinking about the names and the importance of the names. And also makes me recalling all the nicknames I’ve gotten so far by my friends and my family.

1.       Doraemon

Well, I got this one when I was in primary school. The silly part is, this was actually initiated by my teacher. Well, I was short, round, and some people did think I was funny. So there I was, another Doraemon from the real life.

2.       Pam Pam

This one, I got it from my friend during junior high. It was first given by my friend sitting next to me. According to him, I reminded him of a fictive character on the TV show that was stupid or at least look stupid, and of coz fat. At first I was actually uncomfortable with that, but well, what could I say. This nickname was actually more popular than my real name.  And sometimes they made a jingle using this nickname (don’t worry, it wasn’t like I was bullied by them anyway. So I guess I should just have fun with it.)

3.       Baby Huey

Okay, this one was absolutely silly. Somehow some friends found out my mom’s name (to be exact, surname) is Hiu. And again with the reason I was so fat that time, they started to call me “baby huey” after a cartoon character with the same name. And I remember the one who almost always uses this name to call me is Dian!!!!! (I will remember you as the one who started this mess!!) She is a very good friend of mine since junior high. (reminds me of years we haven’t met since our graduation in high school).

4.       Mamon

The last nickname I got from my schools environment. It was given in my second year in high school (or third year I don’t really remember). Well, at first it was supposed to be the abbreviation of “mami emon” (mother Emon). Referring to my junior in high school named “Emon”. He was the only student I had always sent with to represent my school in math competitions. So friends made fun of us and started to call me with that name. However, along the way the meaning of the name itself became more and more creative. Started with “mama monster”, “mami pokemon”, and I don’t know what else until I was tired of listening to every meaning of that simple 5 letter name. I was even given a present which was a miniature of Pikachu by a friend of mine in my bday. -_-#

5.       Minnie

It seems like everyone is always giving me nickname everywhere I go. During freshmen orientation held by Indonesian society here in NTU, each group had to present their own creativity (usually performing a play) on the last day of 3-day orientation activity. So there I was, chosen to perform as Minnie mouse. *sigh*. And with the reason I’m still unsure until now, most of the people watching the play remember me with this name and forgetting my real name.

6.       Dhedhe

The forever nickname in my family. Haha…. I am the youngest child in my little family, so they always call me “dhedhe” ever since I can remember. Hmm…. And I also think that no one in my neighborhood knows what my real name is. Haha…. Because everyone is calling me with this nickname, and it would really be weird if my family started to call me with my real name everyday. Wew… to be honest, I can’t even imagine it. I am happy they call me with that. And would say no for any changes.

7.       Hiu Lia Andriyani

Okay, this one is actually not a nickname. Instead, it is actually my name appears in my passport and my student pass. I PUT ALL THE BLAME ON INDONESIAN IMMIGRATION OFFICE!!!!! How on earth they can put that Hiu as my FIRST NAME instead of my LAST NAME!!!!!! This HUGE mistake started when I first made my passport. Back then, every name appears in passport had to use family name, which means, they needed to look at your birth certificate and see whom you belong to (i.e your dad or your mom’s name) and just take whatever their last name is and plug that to your real name. and TADAAA!!!! Here comes your real extended name. However, I have no idea who was that brat who created this huge error and put my mom’s surname as my FIRST name instead of my LAST name. So everyone thought that my first name is HIU LIA and my surname is ANDRIYANI. GOSH!!!!!  And later on my degree would be addressed for HIU LIA ANDRIYANI. *sigh*. Well, I start to like this name anyway. It sounds more unique than my real name. (Hiu is how we call a “shark” in bahasa Indonesia). =p

So many names represent one same person. It was me, it is me, and for some reasons I believe that it will always be me no matter how you call me. I appreciate every name given to me, even the one which I think was no good at all. For me, when people started to give me nicknames, it can only mean I have a place in their hearts. =p

So, as quoted from the famous Shakespeare:

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.”


The Most Important One

Well…. I was bored and decided to ran over those old files in my laptop. I found this one under the file name “none”.  When I opened it, here it is…. an old writing by me, which again brings back old memories. This was written for someone who I love so much…. more than anything lives in this world. Someone who has been there since my very first cry until now and I believe until forever. However, from what I can read right now, it is obvious that I wrote this with anger and maybe a little disappointment. But, yeah…. I guess that time I still didn’t get it. Yet now,  I can see things clearly. That your love for us… is definitely more than anything…. I love you, Mom… forever….

When it comes to love
sad for me to start with laugh
I put myself in the sorrow
hiding away from tomorrow

as for HIS creatures
I find more in nature
love can’t be bought
not worth to be sought

I doubt you can see
what is more to me
against all in your mind
act like you were blind

even the deaf can hear
s’thing happen when you are near
since when I cry
since when I die

GOD, I hope I was the 1st who came to this world
and change the whole scene
give a better idea to the writer
put myself as a director

too late is never
maybe it’s forever
I don’t give a chance to steal
leaving a pain to feel
maybe it’s an end to begin
for things not yet to be revealed

I will always love you
Even the death comes towards me
I will always take care of you
even your love is not for me

(saved 12/12/2006)


The ALpHa… – an introduction –

After winding around in many pages to publish my writings, I have now decided to stand still on one solid ground. This is the start of my new era as a human being, as I will soon enter the professional world after more than 15 years struggling and playing hard in schools and university. I came about to know that there are so many things in the daily life that have led me to become who I am right now, and so it’s an extra thing for me to able to share my thought across the platform provided.

Well, that’s it for the serious introduction. ^_^ and also it would be nice for me to ask for permission to use some of your names, those who recognize themselves as having me as a friend, an enemy (I hope I don’t have one), or anything. At least there is one thing I can do by putting you guys on the show and of coz promoting your names to others. (y’all should later give me some present for that… haha).

Few days ago, my friend, who is also my “nenek” (that’s how we address each other… so I don’t know who is the grandma and who is the granddaughter), Helga sent me this song. It’s a song sung by Corrinne May, “Love Song for #1. At first I thought it was just a regular love song, but when I was listening to it, I started to feel very calm…. It was like behind the nice tune, there is a much deeper message to all of us. And honestly I started to think that this is indeed a Christian song. But well, because that time I was still struggling in my studying to face my last paper, I don’t really care of finding the information about the song and such. However, it was very helpful for me to listen to this song while I was studying; indeed it made me concentrate more on the exams. Later on after I finished my paper, I searched for this song, and looking for the lyrics. Only then I realized that this song indeed is a Christian song.

Love Song for #1 by Corrinne May

In the twinkling stars that dance like fireflies
In the blushing fruit that hangs upon the vine
In the face of a baby as he forms his first smile
I see you

In the whisper of the wind’s soft lullaby
In the laughter and the roar of the rushing tide
In the song of a sparrow as he takes his first flight
I hear you

Why do you hide among the nameless and forgotten
Why do you walk along these long forsaken roads
Calling to me in the hungry and the homeless
Calling me to water your thirst

So I’ll give you my heart and my song
In a world where so much is right
But so much is wrong
Your love is my beginning and I know it won’t be too long
Till I see you

Why do you hide among the nameless and forgotten
Why do you walk along these long forsaken roads
Calling to me in the hungry and the homeless
Calling me to water your thirst

So I’ll give you my heart and my song
In a world where so much is right
But so much is wrong
Your love is my beginning and I know it won’t be too long
Till I see you, I hear you, I love you

Wew… no matter how many times I listen to it, it really calms my nerves down and makes me feel an overwhelming peace surrounds me. This is also the reason why I put this post under the title “The ALPHA”, coz I want everything in my life starts with His blessings and His words. Having been living in this world for more than 20 years, I’ve been asked around why I’m putting my faith to someone that can’t be seen nor exists with a solid body in today’s life. But friends, this is me with my solely faith to one person who has not been away from my life from the very first beginning until now, and I believe until forever. Like she said “Your love is my beginning and I know it won’t be too long. Till I see you…” Not everyone can understand, and even some address it as a stupidity. Yet, I’ve been through my life, and found so many amazing things wrapped me around this entire time. The bad things, the good things, every single thing happens under His plans…. And serve only for greater purposes.

So, this is my alpha leading to the grand omega….

“I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last.” – Revelation 22:13 (KJV) –