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Monthly Archives: August 2009

Heated Up….

Found this post in my old blog. It was quite true and I found this beautiful in term of the writing and understanding. So I decided to re-post this, to remind me to accept everything as it is. The good times, bad times, good people, bad people, good opportunities or bad chances, everything happens for a reason. To remind me that I’m here just as a servant, to serve for a greater purpose (things that lately have been very hard to fulfill). So here it is:

” CoLLiDe ” (with comments)
November 13th, 2008 by lia-andriyani

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You’re barely waking
And I’m tangled up in you
Yeah

I’m open, you’re closed
Where I follow, you’ll go
I worry I won’t see your face
Light up again

Worries…. Everyday in our minds. Human for reasons or no reason always feels worried. Worried to be alone, worried to be left by people who are important in their lives. Today we might see the faces we love, but who knows what would happen tomorrow. As we see new faces everyday, we might as well lose the sight of those old faces. And that is not the only reason. I’d rather see no faces than to see one in their gloomy days. Every time I see one with tears, I felt broken. The feel of belonging, to a community, to someone else’s life dragged me to view myself as someone whose task is to protect, to comfort, and to make sure that everything’s on their side. I started to look at myself as someone who doesn’t own its life. Like an inferior who always serves the master. Like those servant whose life was paid by the master.

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

Yet it doesn’t matter how well we design everything, even though it might seem perfect from outside, it does sometimes fall into parts. And when it happens, it would probably hurt the most. On the other hand, thing to which we look at as such an ugly representation might crush our lives with its strength and wonder. Men searches for meaning, they look for it too hard until they started to lose their sight. So after all, what they’ve searched for is not a meaning, but an apology, an excuse to make their lives worth something.

I’m quiet you know
You make a first impression
I’ve found I’m scared to know I’m always on your mind

I’ve always wondered how God created human for the first time. How God shaped Adam’s personalities and then the way He thought about matching Adam’s with Eve’s. or perhaps, in the essence of human being, we can always mix and match our behaviors with others…. When one is striving hard to be able to adapt with someone else’s style, what is actually on his/her mind? Is that based on purely curiosity or becoming a part of other people’s lives? And often we feel after we finally fit the hole, we started to hate it. We started to feel scared that we can’t get out from whatever we get ourselves into. Is that based on human self-oriented behavior? Or it’s just that everything gets so boring after we look at things from the hole itself?

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide

Don’t stop here
I’ve lost my place
I’m close behind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide

You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide

artist: Howie Day

 
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Posted by on August 24, 2009 in ShoutOut

 

A Pure Dedication…. and Love… (Dedicated to My Math Teacher)

Well…. Yes, He is my Lord…. Who has never changed no matter what I did. Today I met my teacher, Bu Herda. For those who follow my story from years ago must have known that she is someone that I respected so much. She was my math teacher in high school. She wasn’t the only math teacher who had taught me in high school, but the reason I respected her so much was because her belief towards me. She treated me differently. She knew my hunger in math and she willingly catered it for me. She was someone who pushed me to my highest limit, she was someone who reminded me repeatedly that I have the ability to do more and I deserved every single trust the school had given me. I was known by my close friends to be someone with low self-confidence. I had always thought that I didn’t deserve to be sent to various competitions to represent my school. Yet, she kept on encouraging me and said that she believes and she knows that I always try my best in every competition. I, no doubt owe her so much. And today of every other day, God decided that I have to meet her. Right in the time I feel nothing in my life is worth anything anymore. Right in the time I feel discourage and got no more spirit to keep on working anymore. She inspires me…. She said to me that what she’s done to my old school is based on her love to the school, as she has worked there for years, since the very beginning of the school. Not for money, not for anything…. It is purely based on the love that she has, the burden to make the school better, the responsibility to teach and to make the students understand.

Well, I thought no such thing exists anymore. No wonder I am here now at this stage, able to taste everything that not everyone has a privilege to experience. It is merely because I have such a wonderful teacher, who taught me with her fullest heart, who nurtured me not only as a teacher but as a friend who pulled me through each and everyday I felt discourage and troubled. She is a living proof, it wasn’t only based on words came out from her mouth, but I’ve experienced it. I was her student, and am still her student who is still learning through the best example, herself…..

Being a lecturer is easy; being a teacher is another extra job, extra responsibility, extra heart and mind. We’re dealing with human beings, not death creatures. Each and every one of them has different need, different character, and different way to absorb things. To be a teacher is to try reaching their hearts, being a part of their lives, live with them, understand them, and eventually push them to their highest capacity. Thank you, Ibu…. For teaching me so many things…. Not so much about the math, bout how to pursue things further than what it seems. Yes, you are right, learning math is not so much learning about how to solve a problem, but more into analyzing the problem itself. Thank you, Ibu…. It’s a great honor for me to be one of your students….

-L

 
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Posted by on August 17, 2009 in ShoutOut

 

A New Era

24.07.2009

24.07.2009

Yes…. I’ve been officially graduated. I wore the academic dress, walked on the stage and getting my degree certificate. It was nice to be surrounded by old friends, those who were there through my difficult times in university but also were my great supporters of joy when we celebrated our lives back then. yeah, I missed some spots in Sg, some places that were meaningful to me. Places like Starbucks Fullerton, Changi airport and even Canteen A in NTU…. Yeah, basically all places which I used to study at and designing my dreams. But anyway…. Life moves on…. and here I am with a new chapter in my life try to write a good story book.

This new academic year is quite a change for me. Teaching the higher grades with higher level of math (don’t imagine such a high level of real math, but they call it higher level math though) is quite different with teaching the lower grades. Now I know the meaning of “peace”. Haha…. my grade 11 HL student are real students. They have always been serious in class, doing their tasks, their homework and taking the quiz like taking a real test. For grade 12, I am still taking her, a solo student but with depth of mind like 2-3 people combined together. But yeah, if before this I’ve always regarded her as the smartest one, now I think she has to compete with my youngest student in grade 7. I’m only taking 4 students in grade 7, those who are supposed to be the strongest ones in math, and there is this one little boy who has really amazed me. I do think that he is better than the average of grade 10 students. Teaching grade 7 is a joy to me. With a simple mindset they can actually solve interesting problems using their own way. Sometimes they are a bit naughty and talkative, but when I give out some questions or posted some problems they will straight away trying to solve it. And yeah, it is nice to be with them….

The last one but surely not the least, in fact this class is the largest among all other 3 classes that I teach. Grade 10 additional math. I’ve been teaching them since last semester. Generally I feel they are good students, meaning the ability to excel is there. Some of the students are even a very bright ones. But yeah…. They were often lack of motivation. However, I really feel there are some changes in this class compared to last sem. They are BETTER. yeah…. I mean it. They are more on task, more discipline in doing their homework and more motivated. I’ve always have a fun time with them, always except today. Well…. basically I want my class to be fun, because I think this is how a math class should be, a fun class. That’s why to some extent, I don’t mind if they are being active in class or being talkative. As long as they enjoy the class, they do what they should do and they are making a good progress. Few days ago, they were being noisy in class. They talked, they laughed, etc. But surprisingly almost all the questions in my worksheets were done perfectly. When I asked one of them to come forward and explain, they actually want to do it. So if you asked me, should I punish their behavior? I would say definitely NO. Rather than I shout at them at make the situation tensed and yeah they would be quiet, but they wouldn’t feel secure. Like what I did today. I lost control and shout at them. *sigh*. I regret…. I know that they have been making progress. I mean look at them…. from someone who didn’t give any crap of doing homework to someone who tries to do every question in the worksheets and be the fastest to finish. It is really something. It is….

Given all these situations, I am reminded with a famous quote from the movie Spiderman. “With great power comes great responsibilities.” I am currently trying my best to push them to their highest potential. Because I know they are bright kids and I don’t want to fail any of them. (praying hard and harder)….

So this is it…. A new era of my life…. With one simple page I want to start to write the best story of my life. May not be the most successful one, but I believe everything is well-planed by my BIG BOSS for the greater good…. Amen….

-L

 
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Posted by on August 5, 2009 in ShoutOut