The temptation

Today, I came to my old school to collect the tax form. It was not the first time I went there after my resignation, but it was my first time stepping into the building. In the previous occasions I only picked up my ex colleagues at the lobby to have lunch together. So yea… the initial plan was to go there, take the form then go. But little did I know, the plan went south…. after I collected the form, I ran into an ex colleague who, in my opinion, likes to share things to people including the higher up people (i.e. bosses). So in my mind I was thinking, oh no… now I have to go upstairs and greet the bosses, else they will think that I don’t respect them or appreciate them. It’s not that I didn’t want to see them, I missed them… it’s just like, I don’t know what to say or how to behave or whether they’ll welcome me… with those things in mind, I decided that probably it’s not the best idea to go up to the teachers’ office. But because of this wonderful ex-colleague of mine, I had to change my plan. And anyway I had to take my books from my good friend who took a half day leave today and she left the books at her workstation. So yea… I went up, bumped into another good friend, whom I’ve never met after my resignation, stopped at the hallway and do the usual chit chats til i started hearing a very familiar voice… my boss’. But i thought oh probably he’s gonna go back to his office after this, so we wont really see each other. My oh my…. few minutes after hearing his voice, while i was still talking to my friend, he signalled me and said “mr **”. I looked back, and there he was… God, didn’t i miss him! I walked towards him and shook his hand “hi sir”. And yea… so we can guess what happened next. He asked “are you coming back?” Me: no… “why not?” Me: even he decides to leave (pointing at my friend). “He doesnt have a choice, but you do!” Me: *hesitate for awhile.* well… “you have tried it and maybe now it’s time to come back” Me:*damn he is good at this! What if he is right* not yet, sir.. my cycle is a 3 year cycle… so let me try for 2 more years then we’ll see. “Just know that our door is always open for you. Ok… it’s always open…”
Okay…. I’m not kidding when I said I believe he is half God half human…. he has that power over me so that everything that he says I feel like I have to agree with it. Well…. he almost got me. Luckily I’ve played the scenario over and over again in my head that I will say no, no matter what. I just can’t believe that I was actually considering it. It’s gonna be super funny if I decide to come back… imagine how my resume will look like…. whoever trying to employ me will be thinking “this girl, she keeps on falling into the same hole everytime she tries to get out. It’s just about time she’s gonna come back to that school again.”
This is why I said I actually missed him. He was the centre of my teaching life. I’d learned a lot from him and I’m actually still learning from him through my kids who are currently taught by him. He will forever be my greatest boss and greatest teacher. That is how much I respect him. A lil bit too much I think… but that is how it is… if he does what he did 3 years ago, i.e. calling me again and again, asking me whether I want to come back, God… I think I might go back… so let’s hope that it doesn’t happen….
It’s weird being tempted by something that shouldn’t be a temptation at all.
It’s weird how people say that nowadays, you can’t find loyalty anymore, but here I am, feeling like I should serve the same boss forever.