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Monthly Archives: January 2010

An Imperfect Perfection

At night I cried
On my knee looking for light
No one’s there no one cares
A broken soul waiting for an end

They say I am perfect
2 eyes, 2 ears, 2 hands, 2 legs, a mouth, a tongue and every other thing human should have
Yet I feel I have nothing

A blind man sees through heart
A deaf one hears heartbeats
A guy is standing there without a leg
Standing firmly on his faith
A mute girl keeps her promise
Saving her best voice for the Lord’s day
A mom with one hand cares
Hugging her kids with her warmest love

Who am I o Lord
When I can’t see through heart
Can’t hear heartbeats
Losing my own faith now and then
Breaking my promises and talking nonsense
Wasn’t there to hug my friends when they need me

Who am I Lord….
I have everything but share nothing
Knew You but left You
Was called but walked away

As now I know the meaning of perfect
You don’t need two hands to lift up a prayer
Don’t need eyes to have a faith
Don’t need two legs to run His race
Don’t need ears to hear Him calling

Perfection in imperfection is who they are

An imperfect perfection is who I am

October 18, 2009

At night I cried

On my knee looking for light

No one’s there no one cares

A broken soul waiting for an end

They say I am perfect

2 eyes, 2 ears, 2 hands, 2 legs, a mouth, a tongue and every other thing human should have

Yet I feel I have nothing

A blind man sees through heart

A deaf one hears heartbeats

A guy is standing there without a leg

Standing firmly on his faith

A mute girl keeps her promise

Saving her best voice for the Lord’s day

A mom with one hand cares

Hugging her kids with her warmest love

Who am I o Lord

When I can’t see through heart

Can’t hear heartbeats

Losing my own faith now and then

Breaking my promises and talking nonsense

Wasn’t there to hug my friends when they need me

Who am I Lord….

I have everything but share nothing

Knew You but left You

Was called but walked away

As now I know the meaning of perfect

You don’t need two hands to lift up a prayer

Don’t need eyes to have a faith

Don’t need two legs to run His race

Don’t need ears to hear Him calling

Perfection in imperfection is who they are

An imperfect perfection is who I am

October 18, 2009

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Posted by on January 24, 2010 in Poems

 

Beauty in the Beast

Built to be a good one
Not because I really want
I tried to at least
Not to let myself be a beast

So I start to keep my words
Which some said it can be my sword
My head is spinning
Keeping the emotions from running

Longing to shoot my best curses
Red eyes, boiling blood, exploding head
I got my recipe and tools
Waiting for the right target to rule

Devil inside me,
Devil inside you,
Finding a hole to break out
And leave our names as their aliases

Forgive me not to act right
Sure things aren’t as bright
An excuse to deliberately fall
And point at someone to take a fall

A handshake to seal the dark
And let light slip into the ark
It’s another day passed by
Another chance to forgive

Men in hope women in dreams
I’m there to watch it turns real
Buried my wrath for once
Reaping my parts forever

-L

 
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Posted by on January 24, 2010 in Poems

 

Things Happened in 09…

A friend of mine once told me that it’s fine for me to take a break for awhile whenever I feel tired. I didn’t buy it. I mean, the clock is ticking whether or not I take an action. And if by taking a break means I do nothing during the period, I feel like I’m wasting a chance.

Conclusion: I wasted some chances in 2009.

If there’s one thing that always sticks with me every time, everywhere, and in everything I do that would be my brain. I am too scared to take an action without thinking about the consequences, thinking about how, when, where, why and what. BUT, a big BUT, sometimes my brain has to give a way to my emotion. Example, no matter how much I hate to go to a “kondangan” or wedding invitation, for this one person, my ex-boss who I respect so much, I was willing to go, and I went there. In this case, my emotion did override my brain.

Conclusion: my emotion beat my brain in 2009.

However, almost everything in my life has a contradiction and a paradox playing on it. Yep, I don’t believe in taking any break out of my life, but I need to think before deciding anything and last time I recalled from my own dictionary, thinking means doing nothing but thinking. And bang…. I don’t believe in break but yet I’m using it.

Conclusion: I took many breaks in 2009.

I didn’t believe in tearing down any friendship. I used to believe if some people were friends in the past they would be friends forever. But yeah, I was in primary school when I thought that is true. Still, whenever I felt my relationship with any of my friends being threatened, I fought hard to keep it safe. No need to mention how many times I lost the fights. And, yea the guilt remains still.

Conclusion: I lost some fights in 2009.

Things are different now, I’ve learned new skill: to let go…. This skill is as important as the fighting skills, after you lost, you need to accept it and let it go. A friend said to me, when one door closes another one opens. So I guess, I just need to look at other directions. See if I can recognize which door is currently open.

Conclusion: I am letting someone go now.

It’s a new year, fellas…. New hopes, new resolutions (tho some of the old ones remain), and new people (with some of the old ones as permanent residences)…. Look back if necessary but open your eyes to see the new ones waiting…. It’s another sunset and waiting for sunrise to make it complete.

Conclusion: am trying to bluff myself about the hopes…. But who knows His plans for me, right?

Happy New Year 2010.

Wish us all a better year. God Bless You…

L

 
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Posted by on January 3, 2010 in ShoutOut