Merry Christmas

It’s the 25th day in December. Merry Christmas!
I’ve not been a good girl this year so I don’t really expect anything. I’m just gonna wish that next year I can be a better person… I need to…
Happy birthday, Lord… thank You for the peace and love that You have brought to this world. I’m sorry I couldn’t give anything as Your present this year…


Chasing your shadow

The night was cold
And there you were, waiting for me
Sitting in the dark
Waiting for a familiar light to creep in 

Ten steps away
Yet it felt like we’re ten oceans away
I looked at your shadow
and instantly the warmth of your presence overcame my sorrow

Remind me again why I have waited for so long
And how I could get it wrong
It is you and me
It is your hand and mine

Our eyes met
a shy smile let out to greet
You shook my hand
But I hugged you in my mind

Is it gonna be this way
You walking away
And I, left crying seeing your back moving away
Is it gonna be this way
You promised me to come back
And I, left out seeing your back moving away 

How I wish the clock would just stop
Freeze our moments together
Record our joy and laughter
Midnight was still an hour shy
and there you were, waving good bye
I could see my hands grasping you shadow
Letting it go, slipping through my fingers 

It is gonna be this way
I am always here chasing your shadow
Hugging it in the dark
Sharing smiles over a cup of coffee
Me and your shadow
Coz I know I can’t have the real you..


The Old Days

Today I met my ex-colleague. It was our 2nd meeting in the last 6 months. Quite unusual since we used to see each other at least 5 days a week. It kinda made me realize something, that no matter how smooth my life is at the moment, I still miss those old people with old routines that used to filled up my days years ago.
I miss my ex-colleagues, Fira and her funny swearing words, Bu Virsa and the way she always whispered while talking to me, Feby who was always outspoken about everything, the softspoken Julie, and my two colleagues during my short spell at Towers Watson, Eva and Tanti. I miss working with them, I miss eating lunch with them, I miss being around them… There were also these intern boys, Johandy and Fandy, Ray, Alvin and Denny, Nico and Erik, Ivan and Theo, who helped me a lot at school and made my life easier and more colorful esp during the first years of my teaching career as a young teacher. It was nice to have those boys around, so that I didn’t feel too young.. =p
I also miss my uni friends. My ex-roomie, Dolla and Ci Yoana my two closest people in NTU who had taken care of me, buy me food when I was sick, hugged me when I cried, pulled me up when I was about to fail and simply be there 24/7. My “nenek”, Helga, one that just came into my life and been staying here ever since. My little sister, Eva, one of the few that I can bully. My “maid”, Vina, who always knew what to say and how to answer any questions, even though she had no idea whether it’s true or not. There was also Pau, Ying Yin, Czarina, Yudiz, Ryan. And how could I not miss Mike, whom I have known since my green days in high school and spent another 3 to 4 years at NTU as well.
The list is still long if I have to mention those that I miss from my high school, junior high and primary days. How I wish I could just borrow Doraemon’s time machine and visit the old days for an hour or two… just to see those people again, doing things we used to do… Coz people changed and sometimes I find that I like the old ones better… nonetheless, I still love them just as I did back then. And today’s person is no exception… thank you, nai nai Ellince to have helped me bringing back those nice old memories…