Today, a year ago I gave myself to be baptized. Now, at this moment, I want to recall that event not merely as a part of old memories, but as a continuous one that goes along each and every day to shape me and to remind me about who I am in the first place. The day when I was baptized is no doubt an important day for me, because I had brought this “dream” in my prayers for years until I got permission from both of my parents, and until I ensured myself that this is indeed what I always wanted. Therefore, today I want to specially take my time to give myself a chance to at least write something about that moment. At least, this is something that I can do right now….
It took me years to have the strength
And months after to declare my faith
For every doubt and fear inside this very soul
I was finally down on my knees and taking my vow
Was found weary and worry
Blaming oneself and feeling sorry
Looking up there for a ray of hope
Lost without bringing any rope
Years clinging to my own belief
My own strength, my own everything
Years I found nothing
Yet in prayers, I found the meaning
I was chosen….
Not in my name, not in my blood
but long before I was here
planned and prepared for the greater one
might be lost and yet found
when I listened to Your voice and calming sound
might be dead and yet alive
when You died on the cross and were still able to forgive
for every sinner and enemy
for those who hate and disgrace
You found me….
In the slump among all other poor
In the junk among all other trashes
I was worthless, yet You paid the highest price
To save me…. To protect me…. To love me….
Dare I not…..
To be away from You, the Keeper and dearest Father
Dare I not….
When I was named by You, and called by Your mercy….
To not declare myself, as a servant of Yours…..
January 27, 2009
That moment, when I rose up from under the water, I know…. I am saved…. Thank You, Lord…. Thank You….