Things Happened in 09…

A friend of mine once told me that it’s fine for me to take a break for awhile whenever I feel tired. I didn’t buy it. I mean, the clock is ticking whether or not I take an action. And if by taking a break means I do nothing during the period, I feel like I’m wasting a chance.

Conclusion: I wasted some chances in 2009.

If there’s one thing that always sticks with me every time, everywhere, and in everything I do that would be my brain. I am too scared to take an action without thinking about the consequences, thinking about how, when, where, why and what. BUT, a big BUT, sometimes my brain has to give a way to my emotion. Example, no matter how much I hate to go to a “kondangan” or wedding invitation, for this one person, my ex-boss who I respect so much, I was willing to go, and I went there. In this case, my emotion did override my brain.

Conclusion: my emotion beat my brain in 2009.

However, almost everything in my life has a contradiction and a paradox playing on it. Yep, I don’t believe in taking any break out of my life, but I need to think before deciding anything and last time I recalled from my own dictionary, thinking means doing nothing but thinking. And bang…. I don’t believe in break but yet I’m using it.

Conclusion: I took many breaks in 2009.

I didn’t believe in tearing down any friendship. I used to believe if some people were friends in the past they would be friends forever. But yeah, I was in primary school when I thought that is true. Still, whenever I felt my relationship with any of my friends being threatened, I fought hard to keep it safe. No need to mention how many times I lost the fights. And, yea the guilt remains still.

Conclusion: I lost some fights in 2009.

Things are different now, I’ve learned new skill: to let go…. This skill is as important as the fighting skills, after you lost, you need to accept it and let it go. A friend said to me, when one door closes another one opens. So I guess, I just need to look at other directions. See if I can recognize which door is currently open.

Conclusion: I am letting someone go now.

It’s a new year, fellas…. New hopes, new resolutions (tho some of the old ones remain), and new people (with some of the old ones as permanent residences)…. Look back if necessary but open your eyes to see the new ones waiting…. It’s another sunset and waiting for sunrise to make it complete.

Conclusion: am trying to bluff myself about the hopes…. But who knows His plans for me, right?

Happy New Year 2010.

Wish us all a better year. God Bless You…

–L

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